n-n-now th-that don't kill me can only make me stronger

I've been meaning to write in this thing for a while now but I've been so busy with school work and life in general.

So what has happened? Nothing, yet everything. I can say I'm a different person now. University and life's experiences have changed me.

To most people the change is very very limited. But inside I know I'm different.

Now it's about the little things. I was so keen to get out and have some freedom so I could take a breath of fresh air. But now, I die to be home. Even when there are problems, I feel so happy because it's something I'm familiar with. Life is full of unexpected turns. If it was predictable, it'd get kind of boring...sort of like the campus food :(. Big things like going somewhere exciting have no meaning to me anymore. Just sitting and watching my friends laugh or listening to my family argue over stupidity is what makes my day. I feel so happy when I'm able to make people I care about feel happy about themselves...even if it's a simple compliment.

People always tell me that so many people (family and friends) depend on me. But the truth is, I'm nothing without any of them. Family defines me and friends are my spirit.

Most people say that it is really important to have a fun and exciting summer before university starts because that's the best way to start the year. My summer was the opposite. It was the worst summer I've had in years. First year university started off with a depressed Preet. I now realise that was the most selfish and stupid thing to do. I was so wrapped up within myself that I forgot about those around me...people who always have and always will care. I feel like I've been unfair to a lot of people and that's created distances. I would do anything to find those people now, hug them, and tell them how much I need them in my life. From my closest friends to simple acquaintances, everyone makes a difference. What if they're not around in a couple of years? Won't I feel stupid for losing them?

This year was full of finding myself, my friends, and where my heart truly lies. I found my values, my strength, came closer to religion, and realised that what I wanted for as long as I can remember, wasn't really what I wanted.

I've made enough mistakes this year. But it was worth it because I know I'll never do it again. Never again will I doubt myself or others around me.

I've realised that I need to be more thankful for what I have instead of sorry for what I've lost. I seriously am thankful for my family because even though there's always problems, we make it. We could've collapsed easily, but we didn't. That's where I've gotten motivation and strength from. I've learned to be appreciative of my friends because they don't need to listen to me rant or try to make me feel better or even give me space when I need it. There are so many moments where I'm in awe because of their actions and attitudes, and I am truly thankful for it. I have found "better" friendships within my friends, and it couldn't have been at a better time.

I've heard that in the end all is well, it isn't the end if all isn't well.

I think I'm starting to believe it too.

:)